Four Queens: nerves and drugs

The Hound of Death and Murder Must Advertise

The Hound of Death (1933) is an unusual collection of short stories that appear to have been disinterred from Christie’s bottom drawer.

‘The Hound of Death’ is a story told by William P. Ryan. A Belgian convent exploded, leaving dead Germans and a hound-shaped powder-mark. Sister Marie Angelique is now in Trearne, Cornwall, overseen by Dr Rose. She dreams of three circles and The House of the Crystal. Dr Rose seems interested in channelling the nun’s access to power, but he is killed on the same night that his cottage is destroyed in a landslide… it’s an odd tale, but strangely engrossing.

‘The Red Signal’ is received by Dermot West at odd moments. Mrs Thompson the medium gives the message ‘don’t go home.’ For whom? Sir Alington tells Dermot that someone at the dinner is congenitally insane. Claire Trent, whom Dermot loves despite the fact that she’s Jack’s wife? Dermot returns home to find a revolver in his handkerchief drawer, soon followed by the police come to arrest him for murdering Sir Alington, his uncle. Dermot escapes by pretending to be his ‘man’ and runs into Jack, who murdered Sir Alington and set him up. He was mad, not Claire, but fortunately the police arrive.

‘The Fourth Man’ is in a railway compartment. Raoul tells of Felice Bault and Annette Ravel, singer. Did Annette’s spirit possess Felicia, who strangled herself / themselves? A peculiar tale.

‘The Gipsy’ sees Esther Lawes break off her engagement with Dickie Carpenter. Dickie is followed by a gipsy offering vatic warnings. Dickie dies under anaesthetic. Mrs Howarth has second sight. Mrs Howarth ‘accidentally’ dies; are she and Dickie re-united? It doesn’t entirely work.

‘The Lamp’ finds Mrs Lancaster taking No. 19, haunted by the crying of a boy. Mr Winburn (her father) can hear and Geoffrey (her son) can see the boy. Geoffrey’s lung trouble turns out to be terminal and now Mrs Lancaster can hear two sets of footsteps… it’s a fairly standard ghost story but it’s effective.

‘Wireless’ is given to the elderly Mrs Harker by her nephew Charles. The programmes are interrupted by the voice of her late husband Patrick, addressing her. Has Charles seen Patrick at the window? The appearance of Patrick, on the dot, causes a fatal heart attack in the widow. It was of course Charles all the time, but the will in his favour fell into the fire when she died.

‘The Witness for the Prosecution’ concerns the trial of Leonard Vole for murdering the elderly Emily French. Romaine, Mrs Vole (tho’ not legally), gives a damning story against him. Mr Mayherne, solicitor, is mysteriously invited to an evil gaff in Stepney where a scarred old harridan sells love letters from Romaine to another man. These are produced in court. I’m saying no more because this is one of the great short stories of all time.

‘The Mystery of the Blue Jar’ begins when Jack Hartington hears a cry of ‘murder’ on the golf course, yet the girl in the garden of a nearby cottage heard nothing. It repeats at the same time every morning, tho’ fellow golfer Lavington doesn’t hear it. He thinks Jack may be psychic. The girl (Felise) tells of a woman and a blue jar, which may have been bought by Jack’s uncle. It becomes the centre of a mediumistic experiment and is, of course, stolen by Lavington and Felise.

‘The Strange Case of Sir Arthur Carmichael’ is that the 23yo seems to be channelling a cat. Dr Carstairs sees and hears a cat, but Lady Carmichael (stepmom) doesn’t. She is nonetheless attacked and scratched in the night. The corpse of a cat, poisoned by cyanide, is disinterred. The voice of Phyllis, Arthur’s beloved, brings him back to himself and Lady Carmichael dies. This is somewhat uncanny but let down by Phyllis (tho’ it’s not her fault).

‘The Call of Wings’ introduces us to happy millionaire Silas Hamer who hears a tune played by a [literally] legless itinerant, ‘calling him upwards.’ Increasingly he sees colours and wings, but can he sacrifice his love of wealth? He gives away the money then saves a kid on the Underground, finally submitting to the call of wings. It’s quasi-mystical and quite interesting.

‘The Last Séance’ is genuinely macabre, so much so that I’m not even going to describe it.

‘S.O.S.’ finds Mortimer Cleveland with a puncture and taking refuge in the Dinsmeads’ cottage. Which daughter wrote SOS in the dust on a bedside table? It was Magdala, who feels the house is ‘haunted’. The other daughter, Charlotte, is in fact adopted and a soon-to-be-wealthy heiress. Mr Dinsmead poisoned the tea to kill Charlotte and was going to blame his wannabe-chemist son; fortunately, Mortimer intervenes.

This is an uneven collection but worth reading, if only because it’s so far outside Christie’s normal range. At her best, Christie writes genuinely eerie and effective tales of the unexpected. She’s no M.R. James but a decent second-rater. And ‘Witness for the Prosecution’ is marvellous.

Murder Must Advertise (1933) is particularly interesting because Sayers spent several years working in an advertising agency and is credited with coining the slogan ‘Guinness is good for you.’ It is reasonable to assume that some of the contents are drawn from life… not the murder, obviously.

C1 introduces ‘Mr Bredon’ [sic], who has replaced Victor Dean at a copywriter at Pym’s Publicity after Dean fell down a staircase and died. Bredon reads accounts of the inquest that raise his suspicions; he also charms the ladies in the office. Moreover, Bredon finds that Dean was not well-liked and ran with a fast crowd. Pamela Dean, the dead man’s sister, comes to meet Bredon and Willis, another copywriter who rather likes Pamela, is suspicious. Willis follows them to a dissipated fancy-dress party in Richmond, where Bredon (dressed as Harlequin) climbs and dives into a fountain, the show-off.

C5 reveals (to no-one’s surprise) that Bredon is Peter, who tells his story to Parker. Pamela found a note in Victor’s possession indicating that there were funny goings-on at Pym’s. Peter thinks Victor was dead before he fell, killed by a missile fired from a skylight (otherwise he would have dropped the book he was holding). Dian de Momerie, of the drug set, had Victor at heel.

Suspecting use of a confiscated catapult, Wimsey recruits office-boy Ginger as a detective. On his return home, Parker is assaulted with murderous intent. The assailant dropped a pencil, which Wimsey deduces came from Pym’s. Ergo, Wimsey was the target; someone at Pym’s was spooked by his public display of the catapult. The villain made off with a letter for Peter from Dian via Pamela; Dian is vamping Bredon.

C8 finds Copley the copywriter dealing with a last-minute crisis over the weekly Nutrax (‘for nerves’) ad, during which he discovers £50 in Tallboys’ desk. Wimsey as Bredon as Harlequin ensorcels Dian to discover more about the dope ring. Tod Milligan is clearly a pusher but the mechanics baffle the police.

Ginger does some stupendous detection within Pym’s and there are some extraordinary internal politics concerning the firm’s cricket match. We are halfway through and apparently not much closer to identifying who (if anyone) killed Dean, although confident that all this fascinating atmosphere is necessary.

Dian and Tod gatecrash Denver’s townhouse party, only to be ejected by Peter after he ‘explains’ his dissolute cousin Bredon. Meanwhile, Hector (journalist) finds cocaine in his pocket, marked bicarb. Probably it was slipped there while he was in the pub, but why?

A fast woman comes to see Tallboy, who has a new-born son, in C13. Willis admits concern over Pamela and dislike for Victor. Milligan and Bredon strike a thieves’ bargain over entry into the drug ring. Hector recognises a man from the pub and tails him, only to be coshed in the Natural History Museum. The police tail a suspect, who then falls (or was he pushed) under an Underground train, nearly taking a passer-by with him. The dead man’s hat reveals his identity, but little else. Wimsey and Parker find a clue in his ‘phone book, suggesting that distribution takes place in random pubs, working alphabetically through the book.

Bredon conceives a scheme of genius for selling Whifflets cigarettes. Peter accidentally blows his cover with the drug ring’s poste restante, then realises that the first letter in the week’s Nutrax ad. points to the distribution pub of the week. Milligan is killed by a lorry, which convinces Peter that (a) these people are serious and (b) the clock is ticking.

C18 gives an entertaining account of the Pym’s vs Brotherhood’s cricket match, which ‘Bredon’ wins for Pym’s after a fast one to the elbow causes Wimsey the Oxford Blue to emerge. He is then arrested for the murder of Dian. We then notice an inside joke when someone refers to “the biggest advertising stunt since the Mustard Club,” which of course was a brainchild of Sayers’. That line must have made her very happy. We are then treated to a slightly implausible section of Wimsey being two people at once, in collusion with the police rather than practising bilocation, before the week’s Nutrax ad reveals the relevant pub.

The penultimate chapter sees Tallboy coming to Wimsey to confess to the murder. Needing money, he gave the Nutrax letter to his ‘benefactor’ without knowing it was a dope ring, but was blackmailed by Victor Dean nonetheless… in a curious and ethically complex denouement, Wimsey lets him leave in order to be murdered by the drug gang (because, you see, if the drug ring had been busted first, Tallboy would have been arrested for murder. This way, he can simply be, and his wife and child believe he was, a victim; given Wimsey’s extraordinary confidence that Parker will file Dean’s death as accidental, this seems the best way out).

Considering Sayers dashed this off before writing the book she really wanted to write (coming in three weeks), it’s a brilliant, atmospheric piece of work. The Harlequinade is a bit of nonsense, but the plot is clever and, because of Sayers’ first-hand experience, the detail is colourful and convincing and less flagrantly erudite than usual.